Children in Camp Can Be Their Essential Selves
Below are some excerpts from a Slate article entitled “My Daughter Went Away to Camp and Changed,” by John Dickerson. It provides insight into how kids can be their essential selves at camp–not worrying about how their parents might react. You can also check out the entire article here about children being their essential selves.
“Some of my best encounters with our children are the ones they don’t know about. At school pickup, I watch them conspiring with friends. When I drive carpool, I stay quiet so I can hear them making claims and testing theories.”
“These hidden glimpses of children in their natural habitat show us their essential version of themselves.”
“The best moments of childhood—the memories that stay with you into adulthood—are ones where your parents aren’t there. They are moments you experienced truly for yourself. In Homesick and Happy, Michael Thompson writes about a study where people were asked about their happiest childhood memory; more than 80 percent name a parent-free moment. Thompson explains that kids are better off when they accomplish something without having to think about how their parents would view it. Those memories are also more indelible. The self-confidence that comes from that accomplishment sticks better because it is completely earned.”
“So, as a parent you should want to push your kids out of your space to where they can rack up these 80 percent experiences—to explore, take risks, and try new identities. We are not invited, which is a paper-cut echo of the truth at the heart of parenting: You’re doing it best when you’re teaching them to leave you. Camp is an intensive course in how your children can do this successfully.”
“My daughter seemed so much more in command and unburdened …She goes to camp to be someone different. That’s why she’s so keen to get there.”
“… counselors came to tell me secrets. My daughter showed other campers how to make their beds. She got up every morning to swim in the freezing lake. …At the talent show, she’d sung and played the guitar after being nervous about even stepping on stage. It was an inspiration to the other campers, I was told. She was the kind of kid who was game for anything.”
“This is a different girl than the one I remember. … This was the unexpected wonder of the trip. It was fun to observe the new her, but the surprise was listening to other people describe her. … She told me that Annie, the counselor who taught her the ukulele, said, ‘You have great things ahead of you.’ ‘Didn’t you think that already?’ I asked. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘but it was nice to hear it coming from her too.”
If you’re a camp parent, do you have similar stories to share about your camper’s transformation? Please feel free to share in the comments below about children being their essential selves!